Mr. President You Are Cordially Invited . . .

Last month Iranian President Ahmadinejad visited Columbia University and was met with a host of hostility, not only from protestors outside the building but Columbia University President Lee Bollinger who accused Ahmadinejad of being a “cruel dictator”. The speech also included many other highlights, such as when Ahmadinejad denied the existence of homosexuals in Iran.  

This week, Ferdowsi University in the Mashhad city of Iran invited President Bush to speak at their University. The White House responded to the request by saying:  

“If Iran was a free and democratic society that allowed its people freedom of expression, and wasn't pursuing nuclear weapons, and wasn't advocating to destroy the country of Israel, the president might consider that invitation."

 

Riiiiight.  

Bush would make a visit to an Iranian University if the whole country embraced freedom of speech, dumped their stash of nuclear weapons, stopped hating on Israel – oh yeah – and the whole speech would be televised from a bunker somewhere outside of Iran, and students would have to ask him a list of questions pre-approved by the White House.  

“Mr. President, how do you feel about homosexuals in America?”  

“Homosexuals? We have plenty of homosexuals in America. Lots and lots, I don’t believe in their right to get married but I know we have them.”  

“Mr. President, how do you think the U.S. is doing with the War on Terror?” “Our brave soldiers are doing a bang up job liberating Iraq from terrorism. I think in time, and with patience and a very large check with a lot of zeroes we can successfully expunge the insurgence.”  

“Mr. President, how do you respond to your critics who believe your attempts to secure America has infringed on the rights of its citizens?” “Heh, heh. I am trying to protect the American people. My goal I to protect all Americas – let it be domestic or foreign. If that requires walking on a couple civil rights here and there, as long as the job gets done, right?