Paris Goes International and Dumbledore Gets Outed

If I had the opportunity to change my reputation by flying over to a third world country I would have to seriously consider some major form of reconstructive therapy – on most materialistic level possible. Sadly, Paris Hilton has beaten me to the punch. Following her trip to the slammer, and a list long of other media worthy headlines – Paris has decided to change her party girls ways, get on a plane and fly to Rwanda.

Great golly Santa Clause, is there anything this girl won’t to do get more media attention? Why not just a stack of money out of your checking account, that would normally go towards overpriced shoes, and barely-there outfits and give the money to a bunch of charity agencies. Paris, you have already inflicted enough pain and misery on the United States – why spread it around?

"I felt empty inside. I want to leave a mark on the world."

Believe me Paris, you already have.

Does it make me a bad Harry Potter fan that I had no idea Professor Dumbledore was gay?

I mean, my eyes ate up every last word in those seven books and I never even thought, “Hey, I wonder if Dumbledore digs dudes?”

And to think how many people had a problem with the whole "dark magic" aspect of the story; how about a homosexual headmaster at Hogwarts? Any takers? I wonder if Rowling waited till after the final book to come out to release this information so there wouldn't be some kind of mass (insane) protest.

I guess most people don’t really think about the sexual orientation of characters, especially if the character is from a supposed children’s story. The best way to make more money off the Harry Potter series would be a fictional tell-all book on the love life of Dumbledore.

New York Times Best Seller, here we come.
-- Eming Piansay